Self-Control
Self-control is typically defined as the ability to control our feelings and emotions.
We actually want to switch this around a little bit to the following:
Self-control is the ability to control our reactions to our feelings and emotions.
Every one of us will experience a wide array of feelings and emotions throughout the day, and most of them are unavoidable in the moment.
When we get hit by a pitch, we will feel pain. We also might feel anger, or frustration. If we make an error or strikeout, we will feel embarrassed or discouraged.
It is not desirable for us to ignore or suppress these feelings and emotions, they are going to happen. In fact, trying to avoid them or thinking they’re only harmful, will make them all the more damaging.
If we think that feeling nervous is a bad thing, what will happen when we feel natural spontaneous nervousness in a pressure situation? We will now worry that we’re nervous, which undoubtedly will only make it worse.
If a coach, teacher, or parent says: "Don’t be nervous", hear that from now on as: "Don’t worry about feeling nervous, just take a deep breath and realize you’re ready to perform at a high level. Your nervousness is there to help you."
Again, what is important isn’t what we feel, but how we react. That is the only thing under our direct control at all times.
A bad call by an umpire can make a pitcher angry. Read the passage below about some of the effects anger has on our body:
Heart rate, blood pressure and respiration increase, the body temperature rises and the skin perspires. The mind is sharpened and focused.
All by themselves, these are actually things that are helpful to an athlete.
Now let’s consider another feeling we may experience in a game situation, nervousness:
Your body prepares to fight or flee a threat by boosting adrenaline production. Almost instantly, your heart begins to beat faster, your blood pressure rises, and your breathing quickens, increasing your alertness and energy.
Again, there are a lot of things in there that we can actually benefit from on the field or in front of a class giving a speech.
So the important thing is not the feeling or emotion, those are neither good nor bad. They just are. They are our body’s natural reaction to things that happen to us.
Don’t try to hide from them or avoid them; embrace them.
Understand that you’ll feel angry, or nervous, or frustrated, and that’s totally okay. In many cases, if you react to the emotion properly, it can actually help you.
The feelings and emotions above provide energy, concentration, focus, and adrenaline in our bodies. These are all natural performance enhancers. These feelings are your body’s process of preparing you to perform!
The Navy SEALs call this embracing the pain. It’s the art of focusing on the positive part of a tough situation. Stuck in cold water and know you have stay there for 6 hours? Focus on how good the cold water is for your sore muscles!
Next time you feel an emotion like anger or nervousness, take a deep breath, relax your muscles, and remember how the feeling can help you.
With practice, we can learn to use our feelings and emotions for good and positive things, and not let them affect our attitude or effort in a negative way.
Imagine if we had that type of relationship with emotions and feelings that we sometimes view as negative. If we accepted them fully, and used them for good outcomes.
This approach can eliminate so much of our worry and anxiety, as it takes away the power of emotions to lead us down negative paths in our minds or behavior.
They’re just part of the game, part of life, and they can be used to make us better athletes and increase human performance, should we choose to manage them properly.
Helpful Quotes:
The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you don’t, life controls you.
You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.
REVIEW DISCUSSION:
How is self-control related to the language we use?
Player Exercise:
True or False: Emotions and feelings are natural, normal, and often out of our control in the moment.
Fill in the blank: The most important thing to remember is now how to _________ our feelings or emotions, but how we _________ to them.
Name something frustration does to your body that could help you perform better.
Think of ways to use that element of frustration next time you feel it.
What is one way you can calm yourself if you’re feeling strong emotion, and re-focus your energy into something helpful?